One Good Reason to Get Old: You Figure Some Things Out

When I was a little girl I was satisfied to have three meals a day, a snack or two in between, some friends to play with now and again, and a handful of toys. I was content because my family surrounded me in my home and I knew they would always be there for me. I was content with what I had and who I was.

When I was a teenager, I had all of the same things, but I became less content with who I was. I wanted to be taller, I wished my hair was straighter, and that my brown eyes were blue. My skin was never clear enough, my clothes were never fashionable enough or plentiful enough and my shoes could always use more matching purses.

In my twenties, I deceived myself into believing I was content with myself because I earned a lot of money and could buy all those clothes I thought were the missing link to my loving me. I was still short, my eyes were still brown, but I could make my hair straight or curly by spending money on it as I desired. And I surrounded myself with yet more ‘stuff.’ I was neither truly happy nor content, inside.

In my thirties, I was married with children. My perception of contentment drastically changed. No longer did it center around me. My contentment had more to do with whether or not my husband and children were happy and cared for and had the things they needed - to help them be content. And I was content.

The focus on the needs of my family continued through my forties. And I was truly content.

In my fifties, the last of our children began leaving home. I discovered that the empty nest syndrome was more than a myth. After raising three wonderful daughters and years of home schooling them, I suddenly felt needed by no one. I was lost. I was not happy with myself. I was content with nothing in my life.

I forced myself to re-discover my values, who I was, and what would bring me peace. I did that first by taking employment outside the home as a para educator in a private school, working with a fantastic first grader with cerebral palsy. I also worked with the reading groups in the two first grade classes in that school. I loved those children. I focused on their needs. And I began to find peace within once more.

That job, along with a few self efficacy courses, led me to realize that my entire life I have loved children first and that their needs and meeting them in whatever capacity I am able, is what brings me the greatest joy. I decided to return to college to learn how to teach reading as well as to take education courses. This evolved into the long term goal of establishing a not-for-profit foundation to teach reading to children in inner city and rural areas who ‘fall between the cracks’ of government agencies who might be able to help them. My home based business in health and wellness would be focused on helping parents make their homes healthier places to live and on teaching them ways to supply better nutrition for their children which would help their children learn better and live happier lives.

Now I am nearing my sixties. I have discovered, at least for me, where true contentment within begins. It begins not from having things around me that comfort me or supply my physical or even emotional or spiritual needs. It begins not even from having my family close by. True contentment is found when my energies are spent on those things that I value most in life. For me, it means when my energies are spent on those things relating to the needs of children. Generally speaking, real contentment is found when I give of myself to the needs of others. When I focus on someone else and seek to make their life better, I do not think of me. I give, and so I receive. It is a natural law that God Himself set in motion. It can only work, especially when done with a sincere heart.